10 Things I Learned in My First Trimester

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  1. Nothing can prepare you for the realities of holding a positive pregnancy test in your hand. It’s a mindfuck guys. For real.
  2. It’s important to exercise while you’re pregnant, but it’s even more important to spend that extra hour taking a nap instead.
  3. Similarly, it’s important to eat healthy while you’re pregnant, but it’s even more important to eat whatever you can that doesn’t make you sick. I’m really lucky to say that I didn’t have almost any morning sickness, but there were still days of ever-present mild nausea where all I wanted to eat was clementines and goldfish crackers and white rice, so that’s what I did.
  4. It’s ok to be excited for someone’s pregnancy even if you aren’t sure how they feel about it and even if it’s really early. For the first few days, everyone I told responded with more or less guarded optimism, and I knew where they were coming from. But I didn’t feel like I was allowed to be excited until someone else was excited for me, and I felt a sense of relief the first time someone just squealed with excitement when I told them. I apologize for every awkward reaction I’ve ever had to someone telling me they’re pregnant, and I’ve learned that the best response is, “That’s so exciting!” Because it is, even if it’s also a little unexpected and really terrifying at the same time.
  5. The first trimester is too early to start reading parenting books unless you want to lay awake for the next 8 months wondering whether or not you should co-sleep.
  6. Similarly, do NOT watch The Business of Being Born right after you find out you’re pregnant. There are a lot of things in that movie that are better left unseen when you are less than a year away from that process. Ask me how I know.
  7. Everyone you tell will ask you at least these 3 questions:
    1. Were you trying? (which is actually a really personal question when you think about it, but is also code for “before we continue this conversation I’d like to gauge how freaked out you are right now.”)
    And, for the record, we were “not-not” trying, which apparently is a common way to get pregnant before you’re actually totally ready for it. But I, of course, didn’t find this out until after the fact.
    2. How are you feeling?
    Actually, everyone will ask you this question EVERY TIME they see you once they find out you’re pregnant. If you know a pregnant person, please limit your use of this question. We are pregnant, not recovering from an illness.
    3. Are you going to find out the sex?
    Which is also sometimes code for, “I’m pretty sure you can’t find out this early but I’m not TOTALLY sure and I want to know if it’s a boy or girl but I don’t want to sound stupid, so I’ll just ask this question instead.”
    And yes, we are, but we can’t find out until the end of May/early June.
  8. It really is never too early for maternity pants, even before you’re “really” showing. Because even before it becomes physically impossible to button your pants, it will become super duper uncomfortable to have anything pressing on your lower abdomen. Not only that, but who doesn’t need a few extra inches of waistband from time to time? Belly Bands should really be socially acceptable for everyone to wear at Thanksgiving at the very least.
  9. Choose 2 or 3 close friends with whom you will discuss baby names, and then keep your mouth shut around everyone else. You will probably need some backup when your husband tires of your constant bedtime debates about whether the name you like is too popular or too hard to spell, but you also want to limit the number of opinions you’re dealing with.
  10. I feel like I should end this list with “Remember to enjoy it!” but let’s be honest, the first trimester is kind of a crapshoot. So instead I’ll go with, Remember to ask for help if you need it. The first trimester can feel pretty lonely since chances are not that many people know what’s going on, and your husband/partner probably still sees your baby as a future event while it is very much a current event for you. Figure out what you need to do to stay calm and take care of yourself, and focus on that.


    • Traci Hays says

      Great list. This brought back some memories and made me miss being pregnant. Something I learned from getting pregnant while not-not trying, it’s the best way. There is never a perfect time. Fuck it, why not now. You’ll adapt. Also, babies make everything way more exciting. I’m gonna go for a walk now…with my adorable baby!! And I have one piece of advice for your third trimister. Just interrupt women and say, no thanks! I don’t want to hear your terrible birth story. If you don’t, they will surround you. And they don’t have filters. And they won’t spare you any details. And your chances of not sleeping will increase ten fold because now you are not only uncomfortably huge but have anxiety as well. Congrats again! Enjoy it!

    • says

      Kurt when I say “type” I mean sort of genre. Would you put it lir:yActionComedeSnuffDkama…(?)I will maybe give a Bollywood film a shot sometime but clips have put me way off. I can’t get into the whole singing/dancing style that seems to occupy most of the films.And yes LOTR IS overrated. I really like the first one but the other two…meh…I could take them or leave them (most preferrably the latter:&#100(And yes Kurt Jaws is on my rental list, I will see it soon enough)

    • says

      Swecop: Valeu var först och mmanytt snodde det rakt av. Verkar som att Salong Betongs blogg ligger nere nu men dom reagera stenhårt mot mmanytt när stölden ägde rum. Jag tycker Syk är rolig och han känns mest som att han representerar något annat än oss så att säga.

    • says

      Feelings of inadequacy and stress over not being able to be perfect at everything are 100% normal. A part of the human condition is always wanting to improve yourself!For me, the fastest way to reassure myself that I am, indeed, a person who manages to hold it together (for the most part!) is seeking comfort with loved ones: husband, family, friends…and yes, even blog readers! These are the people who will tell you, “You are BETTER than ‘good enough.’ You are fantastic.”Sometimes you need to hear it from somewhere outside your own head.

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